Love is.. You.


Love is in the air!


L, is for the little things you would do. Just to make my life a tad bit easier.

O, is for offering yourself as my teddy. Whenever I need you to be here.

V, is for very very much! Thank you.

E, is for everything, my dear.


Thank you for loving me.

I love you.


Hawker eats.

My heart broke. I tried to hold back my tears. How silly.

He sat in front of his stall, a few strands of hair clinging to his shiny scalp. He looked around, preparing to stand whenever someone walked past. He stood up. I smiled and pointed to his stall signage.

I didn’t really want to get something oily. But I’m sure my husband would appreciate some carrot cake. Perhaps, a few dollars more.

At times like these, I thank God for the comfortable life I’m living. I felt a tinge of shame for my diet thoughts when an old man is here trying to make ends meet.

A little more carrot cake wouldn’t hurt.


16th March 2019

Mr & Mrs. Yap


I still remember the first time we met. He wore a tee- bermudas and slippers. That, was our very first meeting. He had a slingbag with an orange bunny and he sipped a cup of sugarless tea. It was a first, I’d say. I’ve never met anyone who was as laid back in their appearance as him. He was quiet, reserved- and he just sat there sipping, his tea. We were both awkward bananas; me occasionally looking up whereas he, constantly glaring at me with a teacup in his hand.


We had a lot more dinners subsequently. You know, the usual student couples who don’t have alot of money, but still happy with all the movies and makan sessions. We were like that. And we had a lot more peaceful walks in the park chatting about our lives too! In fact, I believed it was more of me talking and him, listening. He was really, a man of few words.


So on this one quiet night, a single car parked at the very top of a multi-storey building. Lights were shining out from a laptop as the movie played its credits. I don’t quite recall the show that day. After all, we’ve watched so many late night movies in the car it was hard to keep track. However there was one thing I do remember on that very night. Exactly six years ago, he asked me to be his girl!


I said YES! of course! 


Now, life hasn’t been a bed of roses for us you know. We’ve had our fair share of anger, screaming, tears, wailing. Alongside the laughter, smiles, chuckles and joy. If we were to write our K-drama script, it would have probably been the hit of the year. Hah! So here’s a chapter that I really cherished.


There was a period, when people ask if he was the man I wanted to marry. I would stare blankly at them and say, “maybe?”. Things weren’t going well for us. I was childish, wilful while he was grumpy and angry. We clashed daily. Back then, we both thought that perhaps, it would be better to let go.


Blue hydrangeas symbolises regret. It also symbolises the forgiving nature of water.

That became the biggest regret in our lives. As I wandered further from him, he was the first to hit rock bottom. He desperately tried to mend things between us however, I was way too far from his reach. He could only watch from afar.. and he did. He never stopped watching me. 


I believe most guys would have given up and left. One year, isn’t a short time my friends. He said he would exercise to keep his mind off me, but he learnt how to ride a motorcycle. He said he would play his games to not remember, but he reads the bible every now and then. He said he lived his life for himself, but at the darkest of my days..


He became the light that embraced me. He showed me how forgiving love could be. How understanding and warm love actually is. It wasn’t about the quarrels we had, or the distance we’ve accumulated. To him, love is kind. To him, love is acceptance. To him, love is patiently watching me grow.


And I think I’ve finally understood what it is to love. It’s so easy to take someone for granted when you’re together. But when distance sets in, it’s even easier to see how much he has done for you, how much he has given in just for your smile. How much he is willing to accept your imperfections. In fact, now I think he’s my superman.  (:  So if you were to ask me if he was the man I wanted to marry? The answer would definitely be a YES! 


And that’s about it for the chapter that changed our lives. They say,

“What’s meant to be, is meant to be”.

And I think, we’re meant to be Mr Yap.  ❤





Thank you my two baby sisters, Desiree and Valerie for helping me with the lovely decorations. The typography and flowers are really pretty and I appreciate the effort. It was really not easy coming up with these on such a short notice. You guys did an amazing job! Love you ❤


Thank you bestie, Dexian. I don’t know how Mr. Yap managed to get you to be our photographer, but your surprise really caught me, by surprise. Hah! Thank you for being an awesome friend!


Thank you Mr. Yap’s big brother, Ken for sponsoring us the catering! It really helped us alot with the organising of our event! Oh and did I forget to mention that the food was really good? Thank you so much!


Thank you Mrs. Ann and her husband for gifting us such gorgeous blue hydrangeas on our solemnisation! Did you know it was handmade? It’s so beautiful that it looked right out of a shop’s front! Thank you so so much!


Thank you our parents, who assisted us with the necessities such as the venue, pens, markers, etc. You guys were the pillars to our lives and to our event. Thank you for being there with us and watching us grow into a mini version of you. :p


Ms. Belen, our Solemnizer. Thank you, for coming in on a Saturday to watch us become man and wife. Your advice on the marriage courses have been extremely enriching for both Mr. Yap and I. Those two weekends spent learning about each other had indeed prepared us for lifelong commitment.

Lastly, we want to thank everyone who came. Thank you for watching us become one. ❤



Have a blessed day everyone!

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 5)

Braces killed my smile. (Chapter 1)

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 2)

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 3)

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 4)




After a week of waiting with no response from Dr. K, I texted her. Her reply was to get the records from Dr. C as she was leaving the country. I am left speechless. Her irresponsibility as a doctor really know no boundaries. Therefore, I emailed Dr. C for the soft copy of my medical report, x-rays, photos and the powerpoint presentations. He stated that I had to sign the patient protection consent else I am unable to retrieve my own medical records. Hence, another trip down to the clinic. Here’s the results of the visit.

  1. Dr C misplaced my old photos, the ones before the treatment. (I had my side and front profile taken. Smiling and not smiling.) I was looking forward to these and felt it was extremely important, because those were the photos I was told to bite with my back teeth. If I had a sunday bite in my instagram photos, the photos he took before the treatment is probably the only one that is accurately depicting the lateral ceph. Furthermore, it was right before the treatment with the relapsed features. My smile from the front could have been different too if I had a sunday bite. 


2. The medical records were brief and inaccurate. There were plenty of crucial complaints/treatment & recommendations which were not recorded! Especially the part whereby I mentioned to keep my smile and not change anything. They simply wrote it as Patient wants straight teeth“. Oh goodness! And there were more misleading statements such as, “Discussed with patient about stability of teeth” and “Patient wants to bite forward“. It was the only way for me to breathe without choking hence I had to bite forward. I never wanted to bite forward. There were no recordings of my wisdom tooth extractions prior to the treatment, no recordings of me refusing the recommendation to pull my lower jaw out/changing my bite. No recordings of me stating that I want to keep my features. No recordings of the veneers recommendation either. Even the recent side profile photos which were taken are not included. And a whole lot more of erroneous reports . 

 I finally understand why my treatment went haywire. 

This is simply unacceptable. Shouldn’t medical reports be detailed with the recommendations, treatment administered, follow up and patient’s feedback? How do one expect to provide optimal care for a patient if 3/4 of what the patient mentioned during the consultation is not recorded? In a nutshell, I am very unhappy with the clinic’s patient management. Ridiculous really.

Another Orthodontist Visit

He is a recommendation by my Radiologist’s friend. As there was a mix-up in the appointment date, I am ever so grateful to both Dr. B and Dr. H for rearranging the meeting and sacrificing his lunch time just to see us. I told him the same story and here’s the take home message from today’s visit.

  1. It should have been removed and retained, the moment I felt happy with the top set of teeth. 

Is it possible to get this back?

Prolonged braces have side effects and I am the living proof of this statement. Sadly, BOTH Dr. C and Dr. K failed to see this.

2. Based on the lateral ceph, the top teeth have been moved forward/proclined forward. (I apologize for the post X-ray as the clinic still refuse to send me the soft copy even though I signed the PDPA.)

I did mention that I do not entirely agree on this. On the contrary, it feels as though everything got pushed backwards! (You’d have to probably tilt the 2nd photo forward a little since my first X-ray was looking down slightly). Firstly, my upper lips usually never touch my bottom lips when I smile if you were to look closely. I believe it was protrusive from the gums itself. This was taken in 2015 when my retainers were still around.

Screen Shot 2018-12-04 at 8.19.58 AM

And this is another in 2016. (I left it in original size so you can see the small slit in between my mouth.


Now, focus on the top lips when it is stretched into a smile. You can always see a bit of teeth in-between because my top gums were protrusive. It was rounded and now, it has flattened by alot. Take a look at this! I tried to mimic the posture of the first picture.


This is something I’ve never been able to do for the past 27 years. Furthermore, I’ve never had to put in effort to see a full set of teeth before. Now I can’t see half of my teeth. My jaw never felt pushed back against my throat before. My tongue never had an issue with resting at the roof of my mouth. So what happened? These were explained to me in the next few points.

3. My teeth went upwards.

Again, I apologize for the bad quality images. The clinic refuse to pass me the original photos hence all I am able to do is take screenshots from the medical record via pdf. Here is my front set of teeth pre vs current. I was told that there could be a possibility that the teeth went upwards into the gums hence my teeth looked a lot smaller. By waiting for a relapse, my teeth might be able to drop back down. On a side note, look at the arch. I had a wide arch at the back the last time!! You can actually see the adjacent molars at the back as compared to now. Am I the only one who thinks my whole set of teeth got pushed back and inwards? ): I can’t even place my tongue at the roof of my mouth anymore. Oh, I believe he did mention something along the line of my teeth tilting because they expanded the arch, hence it was constantly grazing my tongue. Even after doing my own research, I am still unclear of this point. Note to self: I will ask him about it again.

4. My tongue was filling up the spaces in between the teeth. 

My tongue has never felt constricted before hence I still stick by my gut feeling that my mouth has either shrunk, or everything has shifted back. He did mention about the mouth requiring pressure to swallow. Hence it might have felt constricted because the tongue has to now fill up the diastema, giving me the impression that the space is smaller. Therefore closing the diastema should help my tongue readjust.

Now this is tricky. I am terrified of everything going backwards since it shows on photos. By closing the diastema, power chains will be required. This meant that my front set of teeth will be further pushed back into my mouth. Just the thought itself scares me. However, he did mention his final plan.

5. Wait for relapse. 

This is surprisingly simple. My initial teeth were a relapse from the 4 years of braces. I lost my retainers in 2015 April and went without retainers then.

Screen Shot 2018-11-06 at 10.51.58 AM

Here’s a photo from my Japan trip when I left my retainers there and never got them replaced. This is another in my stash of relapse photo. Let me throw out the most unglam one I have.


I personally didn’t think my smile changed much in that year, so how much of it can I get back if everything were to be pushed posteriorly to close the diastema? Can I get my original jawline back? My chin has always been protrusive when I smile. Can I get back my original arch? Can I get back my smile before my wedding? He can’t guarantee, but whatever I have now, are the effects of braces. Taking it off will be the best option we have to reverse it. I’ve started with so much time, so little to correct. I should be happily planning for my wedding instead of battling with jaw aches, migraines, backaches, breathing problems and huge chunk of missing confidence. Le sigh.




Why isn’t there anyone that can provide me with definite answers? 

Oh, and before I end of this post. I found out that I DO NOT need veneers. In fact, Dr. H said he was pretty shocked that she even listed it out as an option. It would actually be detrimental to my teeth if veneers were put on. Can you imagine if I was gullible enough to accept veneers as my treatment plan? Is this dentist even safe to be practicing? In addition to this audacity, the “original teeth” mould that the clinic gave me is different from the one they showed Dr. L. Take a look at this.




Why was there a need to redo the original set of moulds and why was I not informed about this? Dr. K was just using it as an example the week before my Taiwan trip to prove that my teeth was asymmetrical to the philtum. Thank goodness I had pictures of the first set of original teeth moulds.

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 2)

As much as I wish not to doubt the credibility of this clinic, they give me reasons to fear. The poorly recorded medical report, losing of photos, refusal to pass me crucial photos for comparison, creating new moulds. If you were me, would you feel the same fear I do? 

Oh, here’s a much more organized compilation of the pictures and xrays. I’ve reorganised them from the limited resources I have due to the clinic’s refusal to submit all soft copy documents to me.

Comparison of xrays and photos



Braces killed my smile (Chapter 4)

Braces killed my smile. (Chapter 1)

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 2)

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 3)

The uncertain recovery


Just recently, I’ve been on a short trip to taiwan. My very much needed getaway from all the negativity. Soaking in the hot sulphuric waters as my anxiety diffuse, the joy! (: But alas, it was short lived.

Pardon the descriptive, the trip had indeed cheered me up a little. My mind is still clouded with uncertainty, but I thank God for the flickers of hope he had placed around me. Thank you, to the people who were by me when I was shattered. Thank you, to the ones who listened and provided moral support. Thank you, to the ones who accompanied me on this caliginous journey and shone light to a different path. When I get my smile back, I’ll be sure to take a selfie with all of you. (:

Now, here’s the next update of this chapter.

A new problem arises.

Notice the dent below my lower lips when my face is at rest? It wasn’t there right after I wore the elastics. In fact, it only became obvious when I was in the hotel (Around a week after the dental visit). There are times I’d touch up my make up on the flight and it was still fine. Hence I messaged Dentist K.

She sent me a recent lateral xray of me closing my mouth, told me that I’ve had this problem since the start. When I mentioned that I’ve never had it when my face was at rest, she stated that faces changed with age. Next, she blamed the weather for being cold in Taiwan, hence the skin fold. Hmm, I work in a hospital that practically froze me everyday. I am not sold. A few days after returning to Singapore, the dent did not fade. Again I ask, what happened?

Update: I went to the clinic that removed my wisdom tooth and requested for the lat cephs and opgs. 


Still with wisdom tooth. Taken in late 2016 – early 2017 probably. When I closed my mouth, there was a slight dent above my chin but it wasn’t prominent. My chin was still smooth. (I’ve never really realised I had it for the past 27 years)


This is taken in October 2018 with my mouth closed. Notice the inwards pull the dent above my chin is? And my whole chin shape look weird.

Can you see the difference when I closed my mouth? I’m really curious. What’s going on. This is with mouth slightly opened.


There is no dent. It is smooth above the chin.



Consulting a dentofacial orthodontist.

It was a refreshing change from the usual “You will get used to it”. He explained a few things to my fiance and I. Here are the pick up points from the consultation.

1. My wire was not slotted in the brackets properly

It was the first thing he pointed out to me the moment I opened my mouth. I was fuming as he clipped it back on. How irresponsible can Dentist K get. This half-assed treatment, it’s no wonder my situation deteriorated.

2. I had a narrow arch due to my class II bite.

My initial teeth were much more anterior due to this as it had nowhere to go but forward. Hence with a widened arch from the braces treatment, the anterior teeth shifted backwards. I’m guessing the 1st molars did too, hence it constantly felt as though I was biting on my tongue since it was sharp. Then again, it doesn’t make sense why my teeth are grazing and biting on the sides of my tongue.

3. Ligating braces aren’t exactly helping my case, instead it might actually worsen it.

Due to the wide arches of the Ni-ti wires, my anterior teeth is going to be shifted back further as the “U” becomes wider.

4. My teeth is tipped laterally.

This is due to the ligating wires as well. My teeth weren’t able to clench properly because they’re in an oblique position.

5. I probably had a sunday bite and the bite blocks reset it.

Now this was interesting. He mentioned that most class II patients had it, something to do with the lower jaw biting forward unknowingly. It was my first time hearing of it, but it did shed light on a few questions which had been puzzling me.

  • I did raise it up to Dentist C before that I hardly bite at the back when he told me to bite behind. Hence I never saw the need to change my bite since I hardly used it. Usually I’d just raise my lower jaw and my smile would form up naturally. Now, my lower teeth slides back from my upper teeth and there is pressure on my throat.
  • I felt as though my lower jaw had been pushed back when I smile. This “sunday bite” explained it pretty well. When the anterior teeth were moved back initially to form the “U” shape, the lower jaw simply followed and parked itself behind my front tooth. (I believe it has something to do with the 1st molar placements) Therefore, my lower jaw was pushed back as well.
  • After the bite blocks were removed, the class II skeletal structure became obvious. Perhaps my original bite had always been at the back and I’ve never realised it due to the sunday bite.


His recommendation: He did mention that narrowing my arch would help to push the anterior teeth forward. Replacing the ligating braces by putting on traditional braces, he could pull the teeth forward one by one However it would be difficult to finish it by March 2020. Jaw surgery together with tradition braces was possible as well. The timeline is tight, but it’s possible.


Consulting a myotropic dentist.

Take home points were about muscles on the face and a recommendation letter to another orthodontist.

  • A quick assessment of my teeth and tmj was done. The elastics were giving me a headache probably because of the pressure around my mouth.
  • My dent below the lips were probably caused by the change of my mouth due to the braces. Once the muscle is relaxed, it should show signs of change.


It was difficult for both assessments because Dentist K refused me all the photos and notes regarding my case. Apparently there is some patient confidentiality issue and I would have to wait for Dr K to check with the dental council. The clinic has agreed to bear responsibility of the damages as well so I guess things are looking less gloomy for me. The updates are here:

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 5)


On a side note, here’s to more good news! Our 60th Anniversary Diamond Jubilee Dinner was a success! Hip hip hooray!

A picture with the President of Singapore!

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 3)

Braces killed my smile. (Chapter 1)

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 2)


From sadness to anger.


Thought of the day: Do they even teach moral ethics in dentist school?

Today, Dentist K asked my fiance if I was mentally unstable. Again the psychological thing. Since the very start she has been blaming it on my mental capacity. Now, why would any professional dentist say such a thing? Furthermore, it is to the man whom I was going to marry. Ridiculous. I feel utterly insulted. I was such a confident character, I loved the way I smiled. She botched my smile and I should accept this abomination?!

Screen Shot 2018-11-06 at 10.46.48 AM

I miss my old face and smile. ):

Here’s more examples of how unethical and insensitive this dentist is.

  • When I first raised the issue about my teeth, she made me sign a paper agreement which she scribbled upon. I can understand she wanted to protect herself, but my concern was to get back my smile and she ignored that until I’ve signed it.
  • She tried brainwashing me to accept my current look and ranted about how she thought she looked terrible in her wedding photos, but as time went by she found herself pretty. I WAS PRETTY TO BEGIN WITH OKAY. I LOVED MY SMILE. I never needed anyone to tell me that for 27 years.
  • The moment she took over from Dentist C, I’ve told her how uncomfortable it was when my tongue grazed the sides of my teeth. She told me that the palette can be expanded in future. When I raised the issue again about my tongue getting bitten at the sides, she said it was psychological. 6months down the road, she tells me to let my tongue get used to the palette I’m having. I’m left speechless.
  • When I asked about the diastema initially, she said we could use tads to close it in future. 6months after she took over, she said ONLY VENEERS COULD CLOSE IT. When I asked for other options, she kept insisting that she was very experienced with veneers and I should trust her with it. Furthermore, she told me my front teeth has been shaved too small. It wouldn’t look good unless we used fillings or veneers.
  • On the very first visit, she said we should correct the overbite. I told her don’t need and not to change anything. I liked my smile, it was just a little crooked. I needed only a slight touchup. A year later, she said our situation is a case of miscommunication. They did not know what I wanted so they made my teeth “better”?! Even Dentist C, who was her junior, has apologised for making me go through this difficult period. All Dentist K does is to lie through her teeth and push the blame.

And remember when she suddenly blamed me for having asymmetrical teeth in the first place? OH GOODNESS. It feels as though she’s just digging out more minor issues which I was never concerned about and not solving the actual problem.



Hmm, was it asymmetrical? :\ I really thought frahs and I looked pretty.  ❤

All I had was one simple request. Now I have so much more additional problems. Sleep apnea, small palette, sunken cheekbones, zero jawline, diastema and no fixed bite. My teeth just doesn’t clench together anymore! After the elastics she made me wear, my jaw has this constant dull ache.

I so mad at this very moment. I should try get some sleep after praying.


Edit: Oh and here’s food for thought because everyday I never fail to wake up in the middle of the night.

  • Dentist K said her company is making a loss handling my case because Dentist C only charged me 2.5k for my treatment.
  • Dentist K said it was miscommunication between Dentist C and I. He didn’t know what I wanted at the start.


It doesn’t add up. Now, would any dentist in the right mind quote someone 2.5k to do a full braces treatment? Furthermore, promised it would be removed within a few months? In addition, I did mention a few months after the treatment that I liked my smile and if it was a good time to remove it. I believe I was CLEAR ENOUGH. Le sigh.  Miscommunication is such a good excuse to simply shirk off responsibility.

I blame the severe lack of sleep. It’s turning me into a grumpy ol’ lady! Nooooooohhhhh!!



Braces killed my smile (Chapter 4)

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 5)

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 2)

Braces killed my smile. (Chapter 1)


When will this nightmare end?


It’s been 2 days of discomfort with the elastics. My tongue is in great pain because it keeps grazing the sides of the teeth. I’ve tried to follow Dentist K advice ( She told me my tongue is a muscle and will naturally avoid being bitten by my teeth because it is liquid? I can’t comprehend that sentence really. ) and the breathing issue relapse.

I start to wake up in the middle of the night for no reason again, my mouth feels tortured, my cheeks and jaw has this constant dull ache.. SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THIS.

I keep staring at all the photos of the mould they took. They said my teeth hasn’t moved medially. Well, I CAN’T UNDERSTAND IT EITHER.

They assured me teeth would only move anteriorly, not posterior.

They assured me my bite and features won’t change.

They assured me they will fix my breathing problems and return my palette to original size.

They assured me the diastema they’ve given me will be fixed without pushing my teeth backwards.

They assured me if things didn’t get better, Dentist L would take over.


After 1 year,

I no longer look the same. ):

I tried my best to go out, forget about this haunting nightmare that doesn’t seem to end. But everytime I take a selfie, I cringe.

Will I ever get my smile back again? Will I get my confidence back? WHEN WILL THIS NIGHTMARE END?

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 3)

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 4)

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 5)

Braces killed my smile. (Chapter 1)

I miss myself.



It’s another of those nights where I lie awake praying everything would return to normal soon. I can’t remember when was the time I’ve cried this much within such a short span of time. I scroll through the photos on my instagram and start regretting my choice to straighten my teeth. Well, the lower set was pretty crowded, but I really could have lived with it. Hah! *insert discontented grunts- Perhaps I should pen this whole process down to remind myself never to go without retainers ever again. And to those thinking of going for braces, this is my advice. Please do your own research before trusting your dentist. (Ridiculous ain’t it? And here we thought if there was anything we didn’t know, it was best to seek a doctor’s opinion). The emotional trauma and time spent is a hefty price to pay.

I wasn’t the prettiest face but I had such a gorgeous smile that wasn’t afraid to show itself. 

I was confident and simply loved taking photos. With a smile like that, who wouldn’t right? Here are a few pictures of me before my 2nd braces treatment.

Screen Shot 2018-10-18 at 4.14.10 AM

There’s me enjoying a breeze in Taiwan.

Screen Shot 2018-10-18 at 4.16.17 AM

A night out with the sportscar fanatic.

Screen Shot 2018-10-18 at 4.15.43 AM

Sipping Tequila in Langkawi just a few months before I started my braces treatment.

And of course a whole load of other happy moments.


It all started with misaligned lower teeth because I hadn’t been diligent in wearing my retainers. Since my first dentist left me with a gorgeous smile, I was pretty sure all I needed was just 2-3 months to simply align them slightly so it looked straight. My teeth were already 3/4 straight to begin with. Who knew it was going to be such a traumatic journey. I sourced for various clinics which was able to do re-treatments and was recommended one near my house. There were a few dentists working in there and currently, I’ve interacted with 3 of the dentists within the group. Dentist C, Dentist K and Dentist L.

Dentist C started my treatment, he’s a nice and sincere doctor. Probably the main reason why I’m still here praying for a miracle instead of leaving. There were a few things I’ve declared to him before we started;

  1. My wisdom tooth were extracted recently prior to the treament
  2. I knew I had an openbite, they recommended me to pull my bottom jaw out. I stated that I did not want to change any of my features or smile, just simply straighten/smoothen my teeth without moving my front teeth backwards. I was happy with my smile, just the in/out adjacent alignment of the teeth that was annoying me massively. The top set was not much of my concern. My main problem was the lower set of teeth that was really crooked.
  3. If it was possible to finish the treatment within 3-4 months since I had a photoshoot in April 2018.

He said it was possible to do it hence we went on with the treatment in August 2017. Now, what I didn’t know was that he was one of the least experienced in the clinic. It was not mentioned to me and I only found out roughly a year later. Le sigh. At times like this, I wished he had been honest with me. I would have given it more thought before accepting the treatment.

At the start of the treatment, I looked like this. (Taken about a month after becoming a braceface again)


Still loved my smile with braces on. Should have just forced him to remove it then even when he said it wasn’t time yet. ):

There was a few sessions in between he said he needed to shave off a little of my front teeth. I asked if it would push my teeth back but he assured me teeth only moved anteriorly and it wouldn’t change my features. I lived in regret thereafter.

This is how I looked like in February 2018 during CNY.



2017 CNY

How did I get to this in just 2 years?!

My smile looked weird. It was no longer the same smile and my lower half of the face felt pushed back. Furthermore, my smile used to come out effortlessly before the treatment. Now it was hidden in my face and I had to really smile my widest just to see my teeth. At first, I wondered if it was because I started gaining weight (The first thing girls always think of HAHAHA) but hey, guess what. I was actually around the same weight before the treatment. In addition, I was a regular jogger/marathoner who has never been more than 50kg. So what was happening?

My tongue. 

I studied myself in the mirror and realized my tongue, which is usually placed at the roof of my mouth was pushed back to prevent being bitten by my anterior teeth. This explained the breathing issues I was having. I did have slight speech trouble which was especially prominent during my choral sessions. It was literally a short tongue. Although I’m still not too sure how my lower face started to tilt inwards (I’m actually still doing A LOT OF READING online figuring this out), I raised these issues to Dentist C and that was when it dawned on me something wasn’t quite right. He approached Dentist K for help.

I believe the scariest thing that can happen to a patient is realizing your doctor doesn’t know what to do. 

In March 2018, Dentist K started advising him on my treatment plan. She agreed that it was tilted inwards and said she would help me achieve a better smile. I wanted the top set of my teeth back out like how it used to be. She said she wasn’t a plastic surgeon but agreed to help me get it back to near original. 6 months down the road, this was how I looked.

Is this the definition of a better smile? (Aug/September 2018)

During half a year of HELL, more problems arised. The sides of my teeth were constantly grazing the lateral aspect of my tongue and there are multiple DIASTEMA IN BETWEEN MY TEETH. I’VE NEVER IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE HAD GAPS IN BETWEEN MY TEETH. Can you imagine how appalled I was? Even with braces 9-10 years ago, I’ve never had a gap so big that I would fear smiling with teeth. Furthermore, the biting aids which were placed initially to tackle the breathing problem screwed my bite up so badly – I don’t even know where to bite down anymore.

Every single time I went back for a revision, I’ve raised both issues that were mentioned above. Initially, Dentist K seemed understanding and I was assured that both problems will be fixed. It was explained that they needed to tilt the teeth outwards? As time went by, she started asking if I had nose fillers because my x-ray looked weird. (Mum, thanks for the weird nose!) There was another time she questioned if the grazing of the lateral tongue was psychological. That made me really mad as I’ve raised the discomfort of my tongue the moment she changed the wire. I SHOULD HAVE JUST FORCED HER TO REMOVE THE WIRE THERE AND THEN if I knew this was going to happen. Now, this was the last straw.


I was horrified. I told her I was not keen on veneers but she assured me that she was very experienced in veneering. I asked if there were any other options and she said no. I left the clinic disheartened and GOOGLED. I was so desperate and hopeless I had to asked around if anyone had dentistry friends who knew of other solutions. NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I FELT SO DEPRESSED AND LOST. I wished there was someone who could just help me get my smile and confidence back. That’s when I approached Dentist L.

Dentist L is affiliated to the clinic and was referred by my radiologist’s friend. So my fiance and I went to see him at his clinic. He provided me with 4 alternatives as compared to veneers and boy! Was I RELIEVED to hear that. I thought he would be taking over the treatment however it seems, he would only be assisting Dentist C and Dentist K. I was skeptical initially. The trust I had for both Dentist C and K were gone, how would I know there will not be more screwups. Again, I was assured that Dentist L will be the one advising with the treatment and if it does not get better, he will take over. Hence I agreed.

My braces were changed to a different type called Damon. I do not understand why this was done but I trust that Dentist L will be able to guide them. Fast forwarding to October 2018 at a birthday celebration.


Pardon the grainy image. I’ve been keeping my mouth closed ever since the diastema happened but that day, I tried smiling. I really don’t know what’s wrong with the bottom half of my face. Where is my smile!? I showed this photo to both dentists yesterday and asked when was the next review with Dentist L. Another SHOCK. Dentist K told me that Dentist L is not keen to review my case. HOW MANY EMPTY PROMISES CAN ONE CLINIC GIVE A PATIENT AFTER DESTROYING THEIR SMILE? 

I broke down. I don’t know what I should do anymore. Dentist K told me no other dentist will pick up my case because it’s too difficult. She added that their clinic is making a loss by handling my case and they could just refund me so I can find a different clinic. I was disgusted and told her my initial consultation was simple. My teeth was already 3/4 straight. All it needed was minor alignment. Again, she defended that it was not conveyed accurately during the consultation.

I do not understand.

How is “I do not want to change my features or my bite, just straighten it so it looks pretty” not clear? I told both of them during the consultation that I liked the way I looked and smile. It was just the in/out of the teeth I wanted to correct. That wasn’t clear enough? I asked Dentist C on EVERY SINGLE VISIT IF MY TEETH WOULD BE PUSHED BACK (I was overly paranoid because of the wisdom tooth removal) if he tried to shave my teeth and I was assured it would not. STILL NOT CLEAR ENOUGH?

I don’t know what to do already. She said the only way she can help me is for me to follow her instructions. (That’s what I did 6 months ago and looked where I am). My mind became blank after. I’m at my wits end. Before we left, Dentist K added that my teeth was asymmetrical in the first place and she gave me elastics for that.

May 2016 vs November 2018

Will I ever be able to smile like that again? 

I really don’t know how long I can keep pretending everything will be alright. I’m exhausted from the sleepless nights. Everything seems hopeless. I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror anymore. I miss prancing in front of the camera and taking lots of selfies. Can someone tell me what to do. I miss my smile, I miss my confidence.

I miss myself. 


Braces killed my smile (Part 2)

Braces killed my smile (Part 3)

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 4)

Braces killed my smile (Chapter 5)

The chair.

We believe, not because we expect something from Him.
He is like a chair. You don’t expect anything from a chair.
But when you’re tired, you’re thankful he is there.

He, becomes a place to rest your weary soul.